Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called out President Bush today and challenged him to a debate on national television. This is the political equivalent of two crazy homeless guys arguing over the last pork chop in a trash can. Personally, I love to watch a train wreck, so I say, ‘BRING IT ON’. Although, I have to admit if America is going to debate Iran, Bush wouldn’t be my first choice to defend our honor. I’d rather have someone who could, I don’t know, speak. I don’t think there is a word in Persian for ‘strategery’. For Ahmadin.. Almondine.. Almama, I’m just going to call him A-Jad, calling Bush to a debate is like Shaq challenging conjoined midgets to a game of one-on-one.

Why stop at a debate? Maybe these two guys should compete mano-a-mano for control of the Middle East. Put them in a cage match, let them thumb wrestle for the Straits of Hormuz.  ...Better yet, let them whip it out and put their d*cks on the table to see who’s God is better equipped.

Still, I want to see this happen. I can’t wait two years for another Presidential debate. Besides, those are so rehearsed and predictable. I want to see a crazed religious fundamentalist with access to nuclear weapons take on another crazy fundamentalist with access to nuclear weapons. It can be a religious smackdown. Allah vs. Jehovah in a no holds barred, winner take all debate. Nobody else has to get hurt, no more war, just a debate between Bush and A-Jad. Set the stakes pretty high too. If Bush wins, Iran has to give us free oil for a year, and A-Jad has to eat a pork chop sandwich while watching Schindler‘s List. If Iran wins, Bush has to write NUCLEAR a thousand times on a chalkboard and marry a gay Muslim.

You could put this on Pay-per-view and solve the world debt. Who wouldn’t want to see this? Everybody in the world who hates Bush, and I understand there’s a few, would pay up. Christian fundamentalist would pay for it. If they’re going to buy the John the Baptist Commemorative plate set, they’d spend fifty bucks to see their boy take on a Muslim. I’d buy it just for the material. I’d even buy a ticket to the event, get a tee-shirt, a program, and the DVD. You could have it promoted by Don King. In the blue corner, weighing in at 194 pounds, the Crawford Crusher, The "Nucular" Disaster, the Flatulent Fanatic, King George “The Decider” Bush, and in the red corner, weighing in at 178 pounds, the Tehran Terror, the Hezbollah Hero, the Muslim Mauler, a man with as many nukes as he has syllables in his name, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

LET'S GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!!